I'm sorry my penis didn't work
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
fuck your aforementioned shoe
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
