I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
