When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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