I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
