officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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