Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
