I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
