i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
