My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
