yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
