Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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