Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
