lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
