The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
