dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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