I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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