Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I deserve this hangover.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
