ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
