i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
