Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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