Im at strip club and am horny
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
