can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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