just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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