I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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