Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
