Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
