I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
