i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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