she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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