I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
