Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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