thus making me awesome and them whores
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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