i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I think I just sharted jello shots
The air taste purple.
Randomize
