I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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