Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
