You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
