It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
