What did we do last night that was yellow?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
