I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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