who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
