Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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