I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
