She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
