I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
