How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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