Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
