What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
