So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
