it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
