You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
