i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
My ATM looks so different sober.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Randomize
