that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
