My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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