k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
