i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
