hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
