she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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