Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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