Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
