I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
